evilsodaman

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 12:02:49 GMT

how old are you, christian?

3!

when do you turn 4?

spiderman!

uh... no. when do you turn four?

5, 6, 7, 8, 5, 7.

uh... okay how about this. when's your birthday?

spiderman 2!!!!

Tue, 02 Oct 2007 13:36:04 GMT

i haven't updated since may
do you want to fight about it?

pirate hunter

Mon, 14 May 2007 04:48:26 GMT

does anyone have kevin devine's cover of neutral milk hotel's holland 1945?

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 16:03:21 GMT

dressed up in: break was kind of boring.
Pyro2876: yeah mine sucked
dressed up in: why
Pyro2876: i havnt chilled with any of you guys...

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 12:46:30 GMT

may 23.
perfect day to skip school and go to the beach.
it's richard chase's birthday, and the average high temperature is in the seventies.

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 12:54:29 GMT

passover last night was really bad. try to imagine this scenario: donny my drunk uncle is trying to talk to everybody but he's too drunk to be coherent. debra my mom's sister is sooo earthy and she's wearing all this makeup and acting generally like a weirdo. she made me smell garlic and she rubbed her wine glass on my face. honestly, i'd think she was high on e or something if i didn't know any better. then there's rene, who's always shoving her head into other people's business and never shuts the fuck up. my dad and one of my cousins keep taking pictures of everybody. donny's girlfriend's head is on the table half the time. there are five kids shouting at the top of their lungs pretty much nonstop. my mom is going crazy in the middle of this trying to make sure everything stays together and remains jewish and crap. nina keeps leaving the table to talk on the phone. my cousin keeps trying to jam his religious beliefs down everyone's throat and keeps yelling at people. my family friend's mother just acting like a drunk socialite who, while saying the prayers, pretended she was a black minister. then there's my family friend's kids. maytal is a very indie bookish girl who's studying publishing in canada. she was probably the only sane one there. the boy is about 16 and he's one of those www.digg.com kids who's pretty into computers and stuff. and then there was me who was just sitting there trying to forget that this is actually my life.

thank god there's wine at the seder.

Sun, 11 Mar 2007 21:29:33 GMT

I don't think you're a savant, even though you seem pretty bright. Unless you have an extreme urge to count sand every time you're at the beach, i can't imagine you would be.

I text a lot. I text too much. I text more than anyone I know. It's getting to be a problem and I go way over my limit.

I love the sound of bagpipes. There are a few Neutral Milk Hotel songs with bagpipes in them that I can't get enough of.

I'm straight. I've had an experience with a boy but it was pretty short lived and right after we kissed I couldn't deal with the fact that I had just kissed a guy. He comes on to me still, though. On two separate occasions he kissed me in my sleep. It's a weird situation, but I'm straight.

My favorite drink is probably mango juice. My favorite alcoholic drink is probably mango juice and vodka, or just straight up vodka. I really like sunny d though.

Usually, I get my lunch from Jodi. I'm reallllyyyy tight with all the cafeteria ladies at my school and I'm really nice to them, so I get special treatement, like getting to go into the kitchen and having my sandwich pre-made for me every day so i don't have to wait in line. I pay for all my meals in half dollars. I rock.

My favorite artist is Banksy.
Bahh.

So would you like to get on with that AIM thing? My screen name is dressed up in. n_n

dear smegma,

Thu, 08 Feb 2007 17:35:54 GMT

good job of staying in touch, you lazy, leaky doucehbag! i'm going to
bring
you a big bag of shit.
or maybe a fat giel that love's you SSSSSOOOOOO MMMMMMMMMUUUUUCCCCCHHHH
she'll smother you.
what the fuck is wrong with you? i'm going to whomp on your ass with a
leather belt.
then i'm going to flush you down a bus station toilet right after a
wino
has explosive diarrhea in it.
and i'll make you lick the bowl on the way down.
and then, i'm going to put you in a blrnder with a mad dog and some
razor
blades dipped in bat barf
do you fucking get it, you ungrateful sack of pig shit? where's my
rubber
chicken to smack you with.
we have to go to spencer gifts, fuckwad.

-edward

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 21:37:16 GMT

problem: i am failing spanish and have a d+ or below in every other class because i sit at my computer and get high too often.

solution: get high and go on the computer.

January 20th. The Space, Hamden. BEST SHOW EVER?

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 02:50:52 GMT

http://myspace.com/yamahamatron
YAMAHAMATRON - a cute band that is really fun and plays energetic yet refined powerelectro music.

http://myspace.com/viaaudio
VIA AUDIO - really really nice upbeat indiepop that's really relaxing or really pumping depending on the mood of the songs.

http://myspace.com/alteregowestportct
ALTER EGO - intense and calm all at once, crazyyyy lead vocals and great solo's for this indie rock trip.

http://myspace.com/maththeband
MATH THE BAND - come on, it's math the fucking band. electric beats sung to by a crazy showman with intense rhythms and funky jams. always a good time.

http://myspace.com/scurvyseadogsatthehelm
SCURVY SEADOGS AT THE HELM - probably the best band ever.

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 14:25:30 GMT

i miss
the desert.
zero humidity, the mountains, the cactus.

i miss the one-bedroom apartment in 'crackville', as mom calls it.
i miss the cat we would feed scraps to.
i miss being the only family there who spoke english.
i miss having a hamster named cutsie and a guinea pig named gesepie.
i miss having spagettie or hot dogs every night.
i miss playing in the bathtub with my little mermaid foam thingies.
i miss my pink castle cup more than most things.
i miss listening to that kids christian radio station in the morning that told stories.
i miss playing with two little boys mine & david's age, who didn't know english, but we got along just fine.
i miss catching toads and worms and lightning bugs with them.

i miss my grandma's tiny duplex.
i miss the huge tree in the backyard that my best friends, marisol & christina, used to climb. marisol was at the very top, i was in the middle and christina at the lowest point.
i miss running around the place with them and riding our bikes.
i miss going over to their house anytime i could for dinner because their mother was such a good cook.
i miss them trying to make me say 'yo quiero taco bell' to their mom & dad because they said my spanish accent was so good.
i miss singing to nsync and tlc in their bedroom.
i miss playing barbies with them.
i miss going to canyon lake with them and swimming and bbqing.
i miss telling them everything and i miss making fun of christina with marisol.
i miss being christina's better friend after marisol got 'too old' for barbies and childish things.
i miss my grandma always taking naps when we went over there.
i miss watching pokemon every morning at 7am while getting ready for school.

i miss the little cactus-bed we had in our window in the duplex with brenda.
i miss the german sheperd that lived just on the other side of that tall wooden fence.
i miss playing with that adorable, older boy who was so nice to david & i.

i miss having best friends living right across the street from us.
i miss miguel and gabby and oscar and korina, even if she ditched me when she became a teenager.
i miss wrestling with them and getting hurt.
i miss playing in our backyard in the 'secret' trail between the trees and the metal fence.
i miss playing with all the dogs and pretending we were dogs.
i miss climbing on top of miguel's house and taking an hour to get down because i was scared.
i miss the room they had where they stamped the alphabet all around the room in once place & they put david's name & my name in it.
i miss riding our bikes around the neighborhood.

-shatia.

Sat, 23 Sep 2006 14:27:57 GMT

"What can one say about Paris Hilton that hasn’t been said already? Certainly not that she’s a hollow, soulless, moronic carrier monkey—that’s been done. But if Paris can’t even make a video where she’s got a mouth full of cock look sexy, how are we supposed to enjoy watching her lip-synch while rolling around on her groinal goiter in the sand?

We all know that Paris is “hot,” but do you know how hot? Hilton’s body actually maintains an exact temperature of 130 degrees Fahrenheit, which is not only hot, but it also provided the perfect incubator for e coli to mutate into a sexually transmitted disease during her steamy Carl’s Jr. commercial in which she fucked a $6 cheeseburger.

Last month, Paris’ album dropped like a spastic, redheaded baby in the arms of a drunk and abusive handcuffed stepfather (appropriately, both victims of the album and dropped babies show many similar characteristics, including drooling, mental retardation, and advanced symptoms of fetal alcohol syndrome). Before the album was released, Hilton was quoted as saying, “I, like, cry, when I listen to it.” I can relate to Paris, because sometimes I cry too. For instance, when a doctor cut the sciatic nerve root in my lower back, I cried, so I feel your pain, Paris. Much like a crippling spine injury, your album causes an insatiable and solicitous agony along with a fear of paralysis.

On her album, as in real life, when Paris opens her lips, the complete void of matter and substance that is exposed to the earth creates such a strong vacuum that it creates weather patterns similar to el Nino and is responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of Southeast Asians.

One can only pray that her womb is as barren as her talent, because if Paris Hilton ever managed to reproduce, she would immediately, at once, prove both natural selection and divine creation impossible, creating a scientific and spiritual paradox so powerful and immense that there aren’t enough AA batteries in the world for Stephen Hawking to explain it.

Some people will argue, like her or not, Paris Hilton does have a large impact on our society and culture—well, so does AIDS, but no record company gave that plague on humanity an album."

I should start updating for real again.

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 00:14:46 GMT

Take a look at your LJ friends list, then list up to ten things you want to say to 10 different LJ friends.
DO NOT state who these people are.
DO NOT confirm nor deny any "comment speculation".

1. why don't we ever talk anymore? i want to be your friend again. whatever that means.
2. i'm not as stupid as i show myself to be; i know what's going on.
3. stop bitching. life isn't ending.
4. judge not lest ye be judged.
5. why can't we just be friends? why do we have to deal with bullshit and stupid, petty crap
6. stop complaining about how much i've changed and try to be friends with me.
7. i want to punch you in the fucking face. maybe even two times. and then other times i want to give you a big hug. maybe even two.
8. stop taking yourself so seriously. life is about having fun; not worrying.
9. why would you do that? honestly.
10. it's getting really obvious.

Mon, 14 Aug 2006 03:09:18 GMT

07:30 - 08:18 1 Geometry A B114

08:23 - 09:14 2 Art Hist A B118

09:27 - 10:15 3 Hist Art A B112

10:20 - 11:08 4 Adv English 2A B106

11:12 - 12:22 5 Spanish 2A B104

12:26 - 13:14 6 Biology A C206

13:19 - 14:07 7 Bio Lab A C206-d1

14:07 - 14:08 8 Drawing B118

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 18:41:45 GMT

YESTERDAY WAS MY BIRTHDAY.
I SAW MATH THE BAND WITH OMEED AND I GOT PICTURES WITH MATH.
IT WAS A GOOD DAY.

Voice Post

Wed, 12 Jul 2006 22:13:10 GMT

Tue, 11 Jul 2006 16:42:44 GMT

i am going to make a voice post probably tonight.
be prepared.

Fri, 07 Jul 2006 03:48:29 GMT

I keep telling myself I'm going to write about everything that's happened so far this summer, so I never forget it. But I just can't bring myself to, really.
Tomorrow is CTCON and I am excited.

Sat, 17 Jun 2006 17:44:12 GMT

kirby cheated on me twice so i broke up with her.

and now i'm eating an airhead and it's really good.

Mon, 05 Jun 2006 23:31:45 GMT

i knew today was going to be good from the start.
today is one of those days when nothing, not even crying, can get me down.
i found a pencil on the bus and i like it a lot and i used it all day.
first period was a cut! i played the malaysian game and it ultimately turned to emo, fat albert, and porn. kelly and i listened to a lot a lot of quietdrive and i sum that they sound a lot like bands i usually do not like but i really like quietdrive for some reason.
except his voice is kind of whiny.
then as i was leaving commons, mister antal saw me and was like AUGH YOU CUT CLASS LOL. i was like SUCK IT BITCH and he was all NO THANX.
so then i went to study hall part deux and i learned new tools in garageband that i didn't know and it was not productive.
then in west civ i had fun and it was alright. i have to present something tomorrow.
and then CHARLOTTE STILL DIDN'T HAVE MY BOOK WTF.
and then i made a powerpoint for english and it rox.
then spanish and we had a sub so i couldn't give huebzpubez my cut slip.
then i went to science and math and i wrote a story with text messages with liz!
bold is her, regular is me.

Once upon a time, there was a robot. He loved gardens and his inventor, but whenever he would go outside to the garden, the local children would make fun of his metal exterior by throwing garbage at his shiny surface and singing mean songs. One day he decided to seek revenge! he welded hacksaws, chainsaws, and spikes to his arms to get them back, but then he remembered his karate skills! He trained in the art of judo kai and tang su do. Then he remembered he had to water his prized petunias, so he backflipped into the garden to water them. Unfortunately, waiting for him was his worst rival, Bob Saget! Bob threw a knife at the heroic robot, but was no match to a chainsaw to the face and a roundhouse kick to the primary organs. The robot watered his primroses and flew away. He met up with the local boys and called out to them "Do you beleive in something beautiful?"

Sun, 04 Jun 2006 02:28:40 GMT

sometimes i just want to punch you square in the face.

Sat, 27 May 2006 01:56:43 GMT

1. You are in the Witness Protection Program and must invent a new first, last, and middle name. What's your new name? Free Lev

2. You are in a threesome with two famous people, one male & one female, alive or dead (hopefully they're at least alive in the fantasy). James Dean and Leila Moss.

3. You are in charge of naming your new band. What's the name of the band? What's the name of their first album? Recurring Hype - A new repetition

4. You are going to get a free tattoo. What and where is it? The broken face that Hedwig has in Hedwig and the Angry Inch on my outer right thigh.

5. You are being forced to listen to one song over and over, ad infinitum, as a form of torture. What song is it? That song by J-Kwon that was really big two years ago.

6. You are leaving your state/province. What state do you move to? California SLASH New York.

7. You are leaving your country (remember, you're in the Witness Protection Program). What country do you move to? Israel.

8. You get to choose one book as the best ever written. What book do you choose? The Dau.

9. You get to choose one movie as the best ever made. What movie do you choose? I cannot possibly choose.
I might have to say Harold and Maude. Or American History X.

10. You get to spend one day each as a bird, an insect, and a mammal. What bird would you be? What insect? What mammal? I would be an eagle. Or a Red-Tailed Hawk. As an insect I would be a fly on the wall. I would be probably a cat as a mammal :}

11. You must choose to go blind or go deaf.? blind.

12. You must relive one year of your life. Which would you least like to relive? Which would you most like to relive? Least: third and fifth grade. Most: Ninth.

13. You have a time machine that will take you backwards anywhere from 1800 to the present. What decade do you most want to visit? I'm not sure. I would probably like to check out the 20's.

14. You must choose to go skydiving or very-deep-sea diving. Which do you choose? I'm not sure I can get the same thrill from sea-diving that I can from skydiving. But I cannot see the miraculous sights skydiving that I can with seadiving.

15. You get to return to the past (using that handy dandy time machine we were talking about before) and have a sexual encounter with a rock star who is no longer alive. Who do you pick? All the people I would like to fuck are alive.

16. You get to be a contestant on any game show, airing today or in the past. What show do you want to be on? Probably yeah legends of the hidden temple.

17. You are given $1 million dollars but you must give it all to one charity. What charity do you choose? The Send Adam to College fund.

18. You must ban one word from the dictionary and all usage, to be no longer uttered or written. What word do you ban? drama.

19. You can have 100 million dollars tax free but if you take it, you'll die at the age of fifty. Do you take it? I'll have 50 million if I die at 75.

Wed, 24 May 2006 19:10:59 GMT

Math:
# Satisfactory progress
# Notebook needs improvement

Science:
# In danger of failing
# Missing 1 or 2 assignments

English:
# In danger of failing
# Not all assignments are being completed

Gym:
# Unsatisfactory progress
# Received zeros for participation

Spanish:
# Achievement is average for this class
# Is not reaching ability level

West Civ:
# Unsatisfactory progress
# Missing 1 or 2 assignments

And today was /terrible/ and all I want to do is lock myself in my room and drink and drink and drink until I cry myself to sleep.

Adam's attempt at a new screenname 1.0

Sun, 21 May 2006 22:17:35 GMT

Attempted:
across the sun
and i often ask
another opinion
butchers dozen
catching sparks
crassroads
doom and gloom
dressed up in
eins zwei drei
etched in words
had me a vision
i ate a fetus
its educational
its time for
jealous sun
just a scratch
kiss me cunt
kiss me cock
lacking in flow
move a mountain
no thirteen baby
nowhere please
number 13 baby
oh my golly
planet of sound
river euphrates
rate times time
rate x time
reach across
ride the fire
rip beneath
saxonus
say number 13
slicing up words
space pants
the last part
those bad shoes
unknown bones
vomit comet
xemoxtearsx
you are not the

That's all I got through before AOL stopped accepting any more.

ANYWAY: THE RESULTS :

These were the only screenames that had not been taken. D:
I am going to need your help to decide which should be my next primary screenname.

a. lacking in flow
b. rip beneath
c. dressed up in
d. coitus saxonus

Romeo and Juliet; Act 2, Scene 2

Thu, 18 May 2006 21:27:57 GMT

wow chlamydia: were4 are u?
love about music: listening to you speak from under your balcony, bitch!
wow chlamydia: hoo r u?
love about music: not romeo if that's what you're asking.
wow chlamydia: yeah well you smell like roses. but if roses were called anything else you'd still smell like them. FUCK ME.
love about music: you're a big shore, fatass.
wow chlamydia: how'd you get here? i have a security system. my dogs and stuff will eat you.
love about music: love makes me fly.
wow chlamydia: oh srsly? dude if you died i'd be pissed. PS can i get like an eigth of love? i need my fix.
love about music: i'd rather die than long for your eyes
wow chlamydia: who showed you the way here? it's complicated; i live off the main road.
love about music: i gave him my eyes. i'm not a pilot, but the merchandise, your pussy, was worth it